Surviving the Holidays: Managing Stress and Emotions in December
The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But for many, December can be one of the most stressful months of the year. Between family gatherings, financial pressures, social obligations, and the emotional weight of the season, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and emotionally drained.
In my experience as a therapist, I’ve seen how this time of year can amplify existing stressors, particularly for young adults navigating life transitions, financial independence, or family dynamics. In Vancouver, BC, and other parts of Canada, unique challenges also arise, such as managing the high cost of living while trying to meet holiday expectations or coping with isolation for those with strained family relationships or limited connections nearby.
This article explored the common stressors of the holiday season, supported by practical strategies to help you navigate the month with greater ease and intention.
Why December Feels So Stressful
1. Financial Pressures
The financial strain of holiday gift-giving, travel, and hosting can weigh heavily, particularly in cities like Vancouver, where the cost of living is among the highest in Canada. According to a recent report from the Canadian Payroll Association, nearly 50% of Canadians live paycheque to paycheque, with young adults reporting the most financial stress.
What You Can Do:
Set a realistic budget — Decide ahead of time what you can spend on gifts, meals, and other expenses. Stick to it, even if it means scaling back traditions.
Give meaningful, low-cost gifts — Handwritten notes, homemade treats, or experiences like a shared walk can often feel more thoughtful than expensive presents.
Organize a Secret Santa — Encourage family or friends to exchange gifts through a Secret Santa. This allows everyone to focus on one thoughtful gift, reducing financial stress and making more room for quality time together.
Talk openly about finances — With close friends or family, consider having a conversation about adjusting gift expectations to relieve pressure.
2. Family Dynamics and Conflict
Holiday gatherings often bring together people with different perspectives, personalities, and unresolved tensions. For some, the holidays can feel like walking into a minefield of old arguments or unmet expectations.
In my work as a counsellor, I have observed how these interactions can bring up deeper issues around boundaries, communication, and family roles, especially for young adults carving out their independence.
What You Can Do:
Set boundaries — Decide in advance what you are comfortable wth and communicate it clearly. For example, let family members know if you are not open to discussing certain topics.
Practice grounding techniques — If conflict arises, take a moment to breathe, step outside, or use calming strategies to regulate your emotions. Practice these in advance so you feel more equipped to navigate challenging situations when you are feeling emotionally triggered.
Focus on shared values — Redirect conversations toward positive shared memories or traditions to reduce tension. This can help foster a sense of connection and remind everyone of the common ground that brings you together.
3. Loneliness and Isolation
Despite the season’s emphasis on connection, many people feel profoundly lonely during the holidays. This is particularly true in cities like Vancouver, where busy urban lifestyles and frequent moves can make it harder to maintain deep, lasting friendships. Research has found that loneliness can spike during culturally significant times like the holidays, as people reflect on what they are missing.
What You Can Do:
Create your own traditions — Whether it is baking cookies, watching a favourite movie, or taking a winter walk, build rituals that bring you joy, even if you’re alone.
Volunteer — Helping others can foster a sense of purpose and connection. Many local organizations in Vancouver, like the Greater Vancouver Food Bank, welcome volunteers during the holiday season.
Reach out — Connect with friends, neighbours, or coworkers who may also be spending the holidays solo.
4. Grief and Loss
For those grieving a loved one, the holidays can bring an added layer of sadness and longing. The sight of an empty chair at the table or the absence of shared traditions can amplify feelings of loss
What You Can Do:
Honour your grief — Create a space to remember and celebrate your loved one, whether it’s lighting a candle, sharing stories, or dedicating a moment of reflection.
Allow yourself to feel — It is natural to experience a mix of emotions during the season. Joy and sorrow can coexist, and it is okay to make room for both.
Adapt traditions — Consider modifying existing traditions or creating new ones that feel meaningful and comforting in your current reality.
Saying no when needed — If certain gatherings or events feel too overwhelming, give yourself permission to decline. Protecting your emotional well-being is just as important as participating.
Seek support — Talking to a therapist, joining a grief support group, or leaning on trusted friends can provide comfort and understanding.
5. Perfectionism and Overcommitment
The desire to create the “perfect” holiday — complete with ideal gifts, flawless decorations, and packed social calendars — can lead to exhaustion and resentment. Research shows that nearly half of Canadians feel stressed during the holiday season, often due to the pressure of meeting unrealistic expectations.
What You Can Do:
Prioritize what matters most — Identify the traditions or activities that truly bring you joy and let go of the rest.
Set limits on your time and energy — Be intentional about how many commitments you take on, and politely decline additional obligations that don’t align with your priorities.
Embrace imperfection — The holidays don’t have to look like a page out of Martha Stewart Living magazine to be special. Sometimes, the most meaningful moments come from the unexpected and unplanned.
Moving Forward
The holidays can be a complex mix of joy and stress, connection and loneliness, celebration and reflection. While the season may come with its unique challenges, it also offers opportunities to focus on what truly matters — whether that is meaningful time with loved ones, creating new traditions, or simply giving yourself the space to rest and recharge.
In my experience, approaching this time of year with intention and self-compassion can make all the difference. It is not about having the “perfect” holiday but about honouring your needs and prioritizing what rings you peace and fulfillment.
If the holiday season feels overwhelming or emotionally heavy, remember that support is available. Reaching out to a therapist can provide a space to process your feelings, develop coping strategies, and navigate the season with greater ease.
Ready to take the next step?
Explore my other blog articles, learn more about my services, or book a free 15-minute consultation. I would be honoured to support you through this time of year and beyond!
I am Erica Nye, a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC), Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC), and Certified Career, Resume, Interview, and Employment Strategist (CCS, CRS, CIS, CES).
I offer a range of services to support young adults, including individual therapy, career counselling, and specialized support for issues like anxiety, depression, culturally-related issues, and grief. Together, we can work towards achieving holistic well-being and success in your personal and professional life.
If you're ready to take the next step in your journey, contact me today to learn more about how I can support you through therapy. Visit my website for more information.